Premature ejaculation: a taboo subject?
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a frequent sexual dysfunction. 20 to 30% of men are affected at all ages. PE is not an illness, but many misconceptions and beliefs exist about this dysfunction, which dissuade men from talking about it. The cult of male sexual performance makes PE a difficult subject to discuss. Between pornography and the duty to be virile, the pressure on being a “perfect lover” makes some men worry. Individuals suffering from PE tend to isolate themselves, which accentuates this loss of confidence. However, it is essential not to remain silent in order to start a discussion and find the most effective solution or solutions.
How can you achieve this?
Premature ejaculation: play down the issue and don’t feel guilty
The first thing to do when talking about premature ejaculation (PE): play down the issue and don’t feel guilty! Men affected by PE often tend to focus on what they consider to be a problem and start thinking in terms of failure, which causes an increase in stress by accentuating the issue. To succeed in playing down the issue and not feeling guilty, it is important to talk about it. Feeling that you are being heard and supported will help you to put things into perspective and feel ready to find solutions.
Break taboos: dare to talk about premature ejaculation
Even though we talk more freely about sex nowadays, premature ejaculation (PE) remains a taboo subject although almost one-third of men are affected. The majority of men affected feel alone faced with this issue. Knowing that it is common can make it easier to talk.
On top of the impact on sexual relationships, PE can have a negative impact on your self-esteem or your couple. It is important to start talking and not keep your questions to yourself.
Whether you are directly affected or your partner is concerned, finding out about the subject helps to make it easier to talk.
Who can you talk to about premature ejaculation?
There are no rules, everyone is different and may prefer talking to one person or another depending on their situation and personality. Some people feel more at ease talking with a medical practitioner whereas others choose to speak with their partner or a close friend.
If you are single
If you are single, premature ejaculation (PE) can lead to shame, fear and avoidance of sexual relationships. A man can consequently fall into a vicious circle where the intervals between sexual relationships can accentuate these feelings. You should talk about it with a trusted person to unblock the situation. Some find starting with a close friend reassuring while others opt to consult a specialist as they prefer talking to a stranger.
If you are in a couple
Whether you’re in a long-term or recent relationship and whether PE was present at the beginning or arose later, your partner is also concerned by the issue. Talking to your partner can help you to reassure each other by encouraging complicity and kindness. Starting a conversation about this mechanical dysfunction helps you to move forward together in the process. You can find an effective solution together – whether you opt for a pharmacological method or an appointment with a medical practitioner.
How can you talk about it when your partner is affected?
It can also be difficult for the partner of a man affected by premature ejaculation (PE) to broach the subject. Here is some advice to help you feel at ease when the time is right:
- Find out about PE and the solutions beforehand
- Show that you care and want to listen
- Reassure your partner and play down the issue
- Get involved in finding solutions
- Take your partner’s feelings into consideration
- Avoid criticizing your partner and yourself
- Be patient
For communication to move forward, play down the situation and find the solution that best suits everybody.
Premature ejaculation: when should you talk about it?
Don’t wait too long
Over time, premature ejaculation (PE) can have negative consequences on your self-esteem or your relationship with your partner. It is important to talk about it soon and not let embarrassment and shame develop. You need to be brave to have an honest discussion, but this can help you since you are not alone
Choose the right time
The best time to talk about it is when you are calm and have time. To feel free to speak and be relaxed, it is preferable to avoid having an overly formal conversation. To talk about it with your partner, it is simpler to go straight to the point rather than beating around the bush.
The same applies to a consultation with a specialist – they have followed many men suffering from PE and it is their role to help you while remaining neutral. Choose the right time when you can speak freely, without being concerned about another matter.
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